Ah, the student bar. A place where all students, from freshers to final years, can go to blow off some steam after a long day of lectures. For some, the student bar is a fundamental part of the college experience; you can consume copious amounts of cheap drink, bond with your peers and drunkenly belt out ‘Wagon Wheel’ without ever leaving campus. When you leave college, you won’t remember pulling all-nighters, 9am lectures or the library, you’ll remember passing around pitchers of beer in the student bar with your buddies. Just be prepared to cry when it’s all over.
Every student bar is different in some way, but I’m willing to bet you can find all the same characters lingering around the campus watering hole. Here’s just a few:
Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, the humble first years can be found travelling in packs, afraid to leave one another’s side. They are usually wearing their county colours and getting horrendously drunk, trying to establish themselves on the social ladder and generally revelling in the joys of being away from home.
The Super-Involved One
These are easy to spot, they are rarely seen actually sitting down, enjoying drinking with their friends. No, they will be up and running around, flitting from one group to another as they arrange society meetings, campus events and complain about how stressed out they are. They are usually seen wearing the hoodie of some club or other and always look flustered. Don’t worry, if you just nod and sign whatever petition you are handed, they will move along.
The Campus Couple
Never seen alone, the campus couple are known for hogging one couch for the entirety of the night, kissing, cuddling and making the rest of us vomit inside our mouths a little. They try to pretend that they’re ‘great craic’ and in fact like hanging out with other people, but they’re not fooling anyone. To be avoided at all costs.
The Mature Student
You have to hand it to the mature student, they never stop trying. They will perch themselves at the bar with their carefully written lecture notes, pint in hand, waiting for someone to notice them. They will more than likely make friends with the actual bartender and will nurture this relationship for the year. It can’t be easy to mingle with several hundred twenty-somethings, so fair play buddy.
The County Hurlers
The county hurlers don’t come to the student bar to drink because they are on a perpetual drinking ban. Instead, they come down to sit in giant groups, watch the match and, ‘see what the craic is’. They don’t want to miss anything, you see. No matter though, as soon as the season is over they will be back in Coppers and the student bar will be devoid of GAA once again.
The One Who Never Leaves
Speaks for itself. Every time you are in the student bar, this person is there. They constantly have a drink in their hand, no matter what time of the day it is yet they never seem to be hammered. They have slowly become the face of the student bar, a type of ambassador if you will. They know all the staff by nickname and can tell you the exact ingredients of every cocktail on offer. Some say they never attend lectures, others say they don’t even go to college there. Whatever it is, they will always be in the student bar, your own version of Van Wilder.
The Prinks Girlos
For some crazy reason, certain people will only use the glorious student bar as a check-point, only stopping off for ‘one or two’ on their way into town. It’s usually a group of girls who toddle in, eyelashes on, extensions in, and order some type of alcopop. They’ll stand at the bar screeching and checking their phones until one of them mentions that guestlist closes in 15 minutes so they all bundle into a taxi.
So there you have it folks, the types of people found in every student bar. As annoying as they are, they make up the very fibre of the place and it wouldn’t be the same without them.
Then of course, there’s the perfectly normal folk who grab a drink between classes and then decide that the walk to the science block is just too far so you stay put for another pint. You believe that surviving on a diet of student bar goujons and chips is perfectly acceptable and you wouldn’t be caught dead missing Messy Monday or Karaoke Thursday. We salute you.