You remember that TV show Teachers. Well St Patrick's is the place where these guys train. Crazier than her future students ever will be, step up former student Roisin Lynch...

Drumcondra
St. Patrick's college is situated in the heart of Drumcondra, which used to be a little village fadó, fadó, fadó. (That means many years ago for all you non-native speaking folk!). Today Drumcondra is a bustling place that joins Dorset street right into the city centre.

There are quite a few public houses, with the Cat and Cage being the students favourite for a friendly pint. There are one or two restaurants which are a bit expensive for the old student budget. To better suit the dietry requirements of the students we have a 4 Star Pizza, a Domino's Pizza (oh the competition!!) and an Arakebabra for all you kebab lovers! Other places to eat are The Coffee Loft for a cracking, over-flowing roll or sandwich at a very reasonable price or the Jade Dragon Chinese which is just yummy and is reasonable enough too and the portions are humungous!

There is also a little off licence (probably should have made that priority!) which is a stones throw away from the college and they usually do good deals on this and that. Don't buy their chocolate though, unless you want your Cadburys buttons to resemble thick liquid, because the shop itself is so hot everything melts! Trying to think of all the other places……um……. Hardware next door to Tescos has everything you could possibly need to clean your student house before parental inspection……………... Oh and Bertie Ahern's office is just across the road! Well, you never now when you might need to call upon him!

St Patrick's College
The college itself over the years has become a bit cramped with all the mentalists out there wanting to become teachers. The building was built for less than 900 people and is now touching on 2,500 inhabitants if not more! The crazyness of it! This is a big disadvantage regarding facilities that are inadequate in number to cope with the ever growing population of the college.

However it does have its advantages! Because the college is quite small in comparison to many of the big colleges, it is not too difficult for people to get to know each other and have the craic. It won't be too long before you feel as though you're part of one big happy family! It has to be said that the students here really do look out for one another. All together now….aaaahhhhh!!

The atmosphere within the college throughout the year is one of hustle and bustle. There's always people walking around and chatting and dosing and doing all the regular things that students do! The college grounds are beautiful! Especially at this time of year when the trees and flowers are in full bloom, the gardens are mowed to perfection and there is loads of wild life to be found,... ie. Grey squirrels and birds, magpies actually, hundreds of magpies. Well with all the wildlife and then all the students, it's just a replica of Dublin Zoo!

The Nitty Gritty
Now, down to the nitty gritty! In compliance with the ethos of the college we are not permitted to have alcohol on the premises and therefore we do not have a student bar. However, the Cat and Cage as afore mentioned is just across the road and has a great warm reception for the students of St Pats. The atmosphere is bubbly and friendly and throughout the year, during the day it can be nice and peaceful if it's a quiet pint (in a dark corner!) you're after.

The college is 15 minutes from the city centre for cinema, clubs, pubs and shopping. The buses pass very frequently and it is just 1.20 on the bus into town. Campus and other accommodation: Ah, where do I begin with this one! Actually I'll be brief otherwise you'll be reading all day! Campus is…….not great to say the least. The rooms (all single) are fine with a bed, wardrobe, sink, study (?!) desk and chair, and a window. Shower facilities are grand, very powerful showers and they get you clean and with only 30 seconds from college it's ideal for first year students, lazy students, students that can't cook or won't cook and students that don't mind not having that option!

Here's the catch! Ahem, 60 people to every house, one cooker. I repeat, 60 people... one cooker! That's one hob to every 10 hungry people! It doesn't end there either. One fridge to 60 people. Have you got a clear picture of sheer mingingness yet? On the other hand, since we got plugs in, oh last year (a bit behind the times, we are!), you can have a little fridge in your room. However I don't think a cooker would meet health and safety regulations, (though I strongly argue the rest of campus is meeting them).

If you're a patient person and you want to meet people then campus could be the place for you. It can be quite some fun at times and as I say it can be good for first years. You don't have any bills to pay and you pay for campus in two instalments. Swipe card doors are being installed as I type so security is stepping up. We are on the ball for trying to do something with the kitchens on campus but unfortunately these things take time and a lot of negotiation!

Accommodation outside campus is reasonably easy to find. We here in the student's union draw up an accommodation list every summer with literally hundreds of names for houses, apartments, flats, digs, B&B's, you name it, we got it! All you have to do is give us a ring or call into the union itself and we'll sort you out with all the info. Rent is rent, say no more there, it's Dublin for crying out loud! Prepare to pay anything from €80-€150, anything after that is robbery (unless it's digs you're in)and you can get cheaper, believe me!

The cost of living in Dublin is high but be wise with your money, suss out what places do good student deals. Use your student card wherever possible, like Topshop 10% student discount or the cinema. Just budget and you can make it work.

Bank
There is no bank-link on campus, however we are in negotiations with the two college banks in order to improve their services to the students and we will see a good result from that before the students start back this September. That's all I can say about that as I'm sworn to secrecy so, ssshhhh!!

Health facilities
There is no health centre on campus but there is a doctor's surgery directly across the road from the college main gates which the students can use free of charge. However, there is no female doctor and we are working on getting a female nurse that would be on campus to cater for all you ladies out there. The idea is that anything she cannot do, or if she thinks you need to see a doctor then she will refer you to one immediately.

Canteen
We have a small canteen and a big canteen. The small canteen caters for quick snacks such as a cuppa and a scone or a bag of crisps or a piece of fruit. The main canteen serves lunch and dinner. We are getting a new catering company in and hopefully they will endeavour to meet the taste buds of all in the college from student to lecturer, from meat lover to vegetarian or vegan. Price-wise it hasn't been great in the past but with the new company we hope prices will come down a bit.

Sport facilities
We have a small gym (free for students to use), not state of the art world championship body building material but a few treadmills, bikes, sit-up bench and mats, ab-crunchers, cross trainer and a few weights, not free weights, bench press and things like that. We have a football pitch and a tennis court and throughout the year we (the student's union) hire people to come in and instruct yoga, martial arts and aerobics and the like! We also run a bus from the college on Thursday nights to the swimming pool on Séan McDermot street. All of these things cost no more than €3 a go as it is all subsidised by us wonderful people!

Clubs & Socs
If there is any club or society not in Pats that you really want to join then try DCU. As we are affiliated with them we are free to join their clubs and socs, which is another great way of meeting people. DCU is only a 15 minute walk (or 13 or 11 bus from outside the college, 80cent) away from Pats so if you ever get bored of the place you can always take a walk up there and check out their student bars, library etc.

That's A Wrap
So, to wrap it up, the best possible thing a student from St. Pats could do is take part in everything, get to know people, let people get to know you, dance on islands at traffic lights in the middle of Drumcondra road with nothing but a pair of boxers on, or if you're a lady: fish net tights, one stiletto and one hooker boot while singing "old Mac Donald had a farm" (you know who you are people!).

The worst thing a student from St. Pats could do is, all the above but get arrested!! On a more serious level, the worst thing you could do is walk away from this college without giving it your best shot, let yourself be remembered! Don't walk away after three years with regrets of not taking part.