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Ah reality television. Transformer of the talentless into stars and elevator of vacuous non-entities to the status of cultural icons. Like whatever we're just totally jealous... here's the Spanner's Top 10 Reality Tv Tools!

To start off our countdown it's the much maligned Grimes twins John and Edward aka Jedward. These plucky Irish lads haven't let a complete absence of talent or the failure to realise that supporting them has become everyone's favourite ironic joke to slow them down at all.

Following their stint propping up the ratings on Simon Cowell's annual shitfest Xfactor the only questions we have are 1. which panto will the twins be starrring in next Christmas? and 2. which one of them will have to be given up as human sacrifice to boost ticket sales?