The craic is on hold this year which means the 12 pubs won’t be happening. So here are alternatives to capture that same emotional rollercoaster and mischief that one can only get from trudging through baltic weather for a creamy pint.
Cry
Yes, cry your little eyes out. It’s time to accept that there will no trip to Tesco to get the Christmas jumper with the lights on it, no chanting your mate’s name when they chunder in the third pub, and certainly no recovery trip to Supermac’s at the end. (Jesus, this sounds exhausting. Why did we start doing this again?)
Try Another Zoom Drinking Game
The best alternative to the 12 pubs or going to the pub in general is the, yes you’ve guessed it, drinking with your mateys on Zoom! What’s that? ‘2020 is mad?’ Ha ha oh yes! Very relatable! Down the hatch!
Switch to 0% Alcohol Beer (Accept Defeat)
Ok, drinking on Zoom lost it’s pizzazz long ago. You could always pack it in and drink 0% alcohol beer and pretend it’s the same magic as creamy pints at your local?
Assemble the Squad and Head to the Park
Feck that! Gather up the squad and head to the park. You don’t need any god damn pub! Just a couple socially distanced, well-ventilated brewskis will do the trick and save your plans for getting annihilated with your chums this Christmas.
Scram! It’s the Fuzz!
So you’ve decided to loiter and the Guard’s have shown up. Tell them to ‘buzz off!’ and wait until the bacon gets close enough so you can get a good chase home. You wanted the thrill of being mischievous this Christmas right?
Cry… Again
You’ve made it home and you’re sober as a judge from all the panting and fresh air. It’s a Christmas disaster and you’re back to square one. Not much else to do but have a hangover cry, accept that the craic was held hostage in 2020, and hope that next year’s 12 pubs will be twice as mighty! 24 pubs? No, please, my liver.