Scrabble’s updated official dictionary has welcomed 3,000 new words this week to prove that it is not just an old person’s game. A scrabble spokesperson admitted today that they are trying to welcome a new, young market to replace their current consumers.

“We‘re totally with it, man, we get it. The kids have their own style, man, we have to allow that, man.

“The older lads are great, you know, they‘re retired, they can‘t move very fast, they love scrabble. But they‘ll die soon, very sad of course, but who will buy scrabble then?”

The newly ‘improved’ dictionary includes modern slang such as “innit,” “grrl,” and “thang” as well as drug terms like “gak” and “tik.” Players will also be able to use “Myspace” and “wiki.”

Mary, 18, thinks this is a positive move towards the future. “It‘s like, you know, you say all these thangs in, like, life and you can‘t say them in scrabble, so this is like the way forward, innit?

Especially, like if you‘re, you know, smashed and the only thang you can think of is, like, gak innit? So now that‘ll get you, like I dunno, a lot of points.”

A staff member from Collins Dictionaries says they are already doing research for the next edition of the dictionary.

“We‘re aiming to put “Jedward” and “Frape” (Facebook rape) into the next edition, we think that‘ll go down well. We’re also working on “ja-no-wa-I-mean” but it‘s early days, you‘ll have to wait and see. Catch you on the flippity-flip!”

Jenny Darmody