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Sales of tea, ham and batch bread soar as GAA season reaches climax

Retail data released this week has shown a 400% increase in sales of foodstuffs traditionally associated with the Irish peasantry.

Tea (known as tay among the country folk), sliced ham and batch bread have all seen a huge leap in popularity, as culchies make their annual pilgrimage to Croke Park for the final rounds of the All-Ireland hurling and football championships.

Fearful of ‘fancy Jackeen shtuff’ and the notorious overpricing of goods in Dublin, most GAA supporters undertake painstaking preparations before embarking on their journey.

“Our match day starts around 5am,” says Cork supporter Gerlan Murphy. “We get up early to make the hang sandwiches and fill the flasks with tay, then make sure all the necessary flags have been attached to the Corolla.

“We head off early so we can take the back roads and avoid the tolls, then we’re parked illegally in Phibsboro by 12 and straight onto the drink. If you lose you sober up pretty quickly so you’re grand to drive home but if you win you’ll end up in Coppers and then you might be lost up in Dublin for the week.

The GAA supporters ritual is in contrast with the facilities for visitors to the new ‘Aveeva’ stadium which is set to draw a distinctly mixed crowd.

The rebranded Landsdowne road is to trial a new form of restaurant known as ‘flexible catering’ wherein the menu available to patrons will depend on the nature of the sporting event.

Rugby fans can look forward to Foie Gras sandwiches, Prosecco and Tarte au Citron, while soccer supporters will be able to choose from such favourites as Harp Lager, sausage rolls and Mr. Freeze ice pops.

“It’s an innovative customer driven approach,” some marketing prick told The Spanner.

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Miami named most miserable U.S. city

(Reuters) - Warm sun, white beaches, and million-dollar mansions notwithstanding, Miami has captured the dubious distinction of being the most miserable city in the United States, according to a new poll.

The playground of the rich and famous is home to a crippling housing crisis, one of the highest crime rates in the country, and lengthy daily commutes for workers, all of which have propelled it to the No. 1 position in the Forbes.com list.

"Miami has sun and beautiful weather but other things make people miserable. You have this two-tier society: glitzy South Beach attracts celebrities, but the income inequality has skyrocketed in recent years," explained Forbes Senior Editor Kurt Badenhausen.

The rankings are based on factors including jobless rates, violent crime, foreclosures, income and property taxes, as well as considerations like weather, commute time and political corruption.

Reeling for decades from the decline of the U.S. auto industry, Michigan's troubled duo of Detroit and Flint registered at No. 2 and No. 3, respectively, among the most miserable cities.

"Detroit and Flint are struggling," said Badenhausen. "Violent crime is highest in the country in Detroit; housing prices are down 55 percent. Detroit is closing schools and laying off policemen. In recent years they have been demolishing houses to change their city landscapes"

West Palm Beach, Florida and Sacramento, California rounded out the top five cities.

"We're trying to judge cities where residents have a lot of complaints. It doesn't mean that there aren't terrific things there," he said.

And for the haves Miami's charms remain undiminished.

"The one percent in Miami is doing fantastic. But for the vast majority, who make less than $75,000 (a year), Miami can be a challenging place," he said. "Forty-seven percent of homeowners sit on underwater mortgages. That's tough."