Who, me?! Never!

New developments have emerged in a week of controversy for footballer, Ryan Giggs. Having taken out an injunction in an attempt to prevent his affair with Welsh slag, Imogen Thomas, being made public, Giggs is now denying sleeping with his brother’s wife for the past eight years.

Natasha Giggs, Ryan’s sister-in-law, has claimed that she has been doing the dirty with the esteemed Manchester United winger, before and after she married Rhodri, the presumably much less successful brother of Ryan.

Just when you thought Giggs’ indiscretions couldn’t get any worse, it has now emerged that he also slept with your very own mother.

Twitter has been rife with stories that your mother slept with Giggs last Christmas eve, while you were in bed, and your Dad was out buying her generous and thoughtful gifts because he loves her so much. It is reported that Giggs doesn’t even fancy your Mam, and only did it “for the laugh” and “to help pass the time between riding better looking women”

Giggs has since denied the allegations, stating that your dear Mother “is a munter” and that he “wouldn’t give her one if he had a bag of dicks”. He has also stated his intentions to sue those making the accusations, and that he is “a dedicated family man” and is still “very much in love with the wife, whatever her fucking name is”

The recent scandals have now brought about new questions over Giggs’ footballing career. With Paul Scholes’ recent retirement, many are now wondering if Giggs, who recently celebrated his 60th birthday, will also decide if it is time to call it a day himself. A spokesperson for the player has said that it may well be worthwhile jacking in the football so he can spend more time on his shagging career.

Mark Walsh
www.walsho.net