Porn: it’s something everyone has come across at least once in their lives.
Just like Facebook stalking or watching the Jeremy Kyle Show, it’s one of those things that most people seem to enjoy but very few will admit to doing so.
Regardless, it exists for a sole purpose and it accomplishes that. But have you ever come across it in the light of day, with a completely different viewpoint and take a good, hard look at it.
Today, Oxygen.ie attempts to penetrate this issue, and come to the conclusion of eight questions we should all probably ask ourselves about one of the world’s biggest industries and pastimes.
1. What’s with all of the incest?
We don’t want to be accused of ‘kink-shaming’ at any point during this discussion; whatever you’re into, that’s OK.
Having said that though, when did the internet become obsessed with the fantasy of step-moms, step-daughters and all of the crazy sexual encounters they seemingly come into.
It seems to have gotten everywhere though; anyone who has come across the front page of Pornhub (and we know that’s a good amount of you) will know it’s one of the most popular genres of porn out there at the moment.
We are right in saying that is incest, yes? And if it is, incest isn’t normally a good thing is it?
There’s billions of other people in the world to meet and have fun with, but it seems there’s a lot of us that stick to the “if you can’t keep in the pants, keep it in the family” motto.
2. And Hentai? What’s the point?
For the uneducated out there, Hentai is described by Wikipedia as hentai “a catch-all term to describe a genre of anime and manga pornography”.
Again, nothing wrong with this but does something not seem a little… off about watching your pornography in cartoon form?
Anime can be great (I will fight anyone who says Yu-Gi-Oh isn’t one of the best shows of our generation) and porn is also pretty brilliant but is there any need to mix the two of them together.
Kind of like chocolate and a 4 in 1; both fantastic when enjoyed separately but you’d probably look at your mate a little differently if you saw them
3. Is there a reason why most male pornstars are so ugly?
This is a photo of Mr. Ron Jeremy, most notably known for being one of, if not the most famous male pornstar in the world.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, looks are subjective etc. but ladies be honest; would you swipe right for Ron here?
We believe that porn is, and should be equally appealing to both men and women (even if this is always isn’t the case).
Why then do not all, but a lot of male pornstars have no appealing features apart from being in good shape and having a shiny, bald head?
Great lengths are gone to make sure that the female performers are looking like a million dollars in the eyes of the men, why can’t we do the same for the opposite gender?
4. Why are there no Irish pornstars?
EDITOR’S NOTE: There are obviously no Irish pornstars to show for this featured image. So instead, we’ve included the closest thing we have presently to Irish pornography.
For such a small island, we really do ourselves proud on the world stage.
Whether it be through sporting stars such as Brian O’Driscoll and Conor McGregor, or bands such as U2 and Thin Lizzy, we’re known around the world in most disciplines.
Porn is an exception to this rule; as there seems to be an absence of any pornstars coming from the Emerald Isle. Not one.
It’s probably down to the small, parish mentality that still exists in many corners of the country. The last thing Mary’s mother wants to hear from whisperers at Mass is that her daughter has left to do some “adult films.”
Like music, MMA or anything else, we believe the Irish takeover into porn might just be around the corner. Until then, we’ll have to do with the foreign imports.
5. Is there any reason why Cork is so into Bondage?
Can you really tell anything about the personalities of a particular group of people through the kind of porn at the watch.
Probably not, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t interesting reading all the same!
A fair few countries are into our old friend Hentai, with many others preferring the more traditional ‘Teen’ or ‘Mature’ categories.
However, is there any particular reason why Cork, and only Cork have Bondage as their most preferred category? Has the Fifty Shades of Grey phenomenon have a vice-grip on the likes of Mallow, Clonakility and Cobh?
Impossible to tell really, but at least we won’t be too surprised if we ever see a ‘Fifty Shades of Skibbereen’ spinoff.
6. Why does she sound like a cat going through an exorcism?
This is a common complaint from both men and women, but it’s serious enough that we need to address it here.
There’s nothing at all wrong with either a man or woman expressing their pleasure during sex through sound, if anything it enhances the whole experience for both involved.
The same goes for some porn, but when a female pornstar is screaming at the top of their lungs as if her cervix is being covered with hydrochloric acid, it kind of kills the mood.
You just know everything your seeing is fake when this happens, because anyone who’s been lucky enough to get intimate with another person knows this isn’t how real sex works.
Porn isn’t real sex, but it could at least try to seem like it is from time to time. Otherwise, all we’re listening too is a screaming cat.
7. We’re all sick bastards aren’t we?
This is something we’ve all asked ourselves when it comes to porn (usually several minutes after the viewing of said porn.)
Often porn is sweaty, gross and at times just very cringey. It’s crazy how something can go from being so appealing to so abhorrent in a matter of minutes.
That’s what happens though, and sometimes it’s hard to wipe that feeling away. Internet porn is so expansive, you can literally find anything in just a few clicks.
8. What’s the problem with it?
Despite that feeling described already, we need to get the point across that there’s nothing wrong with porn.
Not all porn is great (especially that borders on misogynistic and abusive) but if there’s any taboo still associated with watching this kind of stuff, it should be removed immediately.
We’re all human, we all have urges and porn is often an effective way of releasing those urges, even if it is to real sex what a Call of Duty game is to actual war.
So while you won’t be sharing your favourites on Facebook or chatting about in the pub anytime soon, relax and enjoy it!