One of the country’s leading escort agencies, specialising in providing company to wealthy bankers and politicians at the height of the Celtic Tiger has been forced to close down.

The owners of South Dublin Escorts in Dublin 4, which specialised in top-of-the-range female escorts from Poland, France and Russia said yesterday they had no choice but to close after the market collapsed.

Revenue for the once highly profitable business had fallen from over €25million in 2004 to just €5million in 2010.

"The closure is unfortunately a direct result of the prolonged recession that we find ourselves in," said the owners in a statement. “I guess most of our clientele have simply gone or don’t have the money any more. All the bankers are gone off to other agencies on the continent, and Fianna Fáil are trying to behave themselves until they get back into power. And Enda Kenny wouldn’t exactly be our type of client. The only people left in the country who would fit our customer base are Catholic priests, and all our girls are far too old for them.”

A variety of factors were blamed for the closure, including the "unsustainable costs of business including taxes and brown envelope levies as well as a lack of government support for sustaining employment in the industry and a low incidence of women taking the required FÁS course".

“Despite government promises at the last election, no new FÁS or university courses have been provided to educate women who seek such a career. This isn’t a job you can simply do if you just have the looks. Our employees need to have brains as well.”

A government spokesperson turned bright red and declined to comment.

Conor Forrest
bognation.blogspot.com