Employees of Financial Yields Ireland (FYI) celebrated the birth of Jesus Christ with a 10 hour rampage of drinking, drunken fondling and vomiting this week.

The 35 strong staff of the company paid solemn tribute to their professed lord and saviour by re-enacting the last supper with curry cheese chips and mince pies, the miracle of turning water into wine with vodka jelly shots, and the crown of thorns with novelty reindeer ears.

“Jeez boy the Christmas party was something else this year,” said Mossie Moss, vice president of jargon for the company. “I had a good 13 pints of Guinness into me by 10 o’clock. I was running down Baggot Street in me jocks waving me mickey at anyone who looked at me sideways. Ended up in the cells. Mad craic though.”

Junior senior marketing analyst Lorraine Deer was less enthusiastic about the evening, pausing to throw up into a waste paper bin as she mentally reviewed the romantic consequences of an evening of alcoholic excess.

‘Hmmm yeah it was fun,” she mumbled. “Wish I hadn’t gone home with that sneery dick Martin from accounts though. Now I have to look at him for the rest of the year. Whose idea was it to go to Coppers? My arse will be bruised till Easter.”

Chief Executive Oisin McUisce professed himself pleased with the festive event. “At this special time of year, it’s very important that the staff have a chance to let their hair down and are rewarded for all the hard work they’ve done over the year” he said.

“And even more importantly they get to see how cool, relaxed and up for the craic I am. Just like a real person. Now get back to work and have that report on my lunchtime or you drones can join the rest of the country in the soup queues.”
 

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