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Obama yet to accept Cameron’s friend request

Obama. On facebook. Allegedly

British Prime Minister David Cameron is facing an anxious wait before he finds out whether Barack Obama has accepted him as a facebook friend.

Cameron is currently on his first official visit to the states, and has had several meetings with emperor Obama during the week.

Dave the Rave was overheard discussing the issue with an aide, apparently saying “I asked him two days ago, do you think he hasn’t checked his friend requests?” and “I know he’s definitely been on, I saw the comments he left on Putin’s holiday pics.”

In a sign of how desperate the Tory leader has become it is believed he has made it clear that he is even willing to accept ‘limited profile’ access – a status normally reserved for rogue states who have annoyed the Yanks, such as Iran, North Korea and France.

Previous British leaders have always been welcomed to the White House, mostly due to their fawning obsequiousness and willingness to hop on the bandwagon for whichever war of conquest the Prez of the day is cooking up.

Circumstances for Cameron are a little more challenging however, as his visit follows the 3 month oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico.

The spill emanated from a well owned by BP - Britiain’s flagship oil company – and the company have angered Americans with their perceived “Meh, whatcha gonna do?” response to the leak.

One Washington insider said that the President was just making Cameron sweat.

“The special relationship isn’t looking too special at the moment,” a source told The Spanner. “If I emptied a portaloo into your garden every day then asked you to be my friend you wouldn’t be too impressed either.

“I’m sure he’ll accept him eventually, but he’ll probably have to hang on in friend limbo for a while.”

 

Read even more hilarious made up nonsense in The Spanner Ezine

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Miami named most miserable U.S. city

(Reuters) - Warm sun, white beaches, and million-dollar mansions notwithstanding, Miami has captured the dubious distinction of being the most miserable city in the United States, according to a new poll.

The playground of the rich and famous is home to a crippling housing crisis, one of the highest crime rates in the country, and lengthy daily commutes for workers, all of which have propelled it to the No. 1 position in the Forbes.com list.

"Miami has sun and beautiful weather but other things make people miserable. You have this two-tier society: glitzy South Beach attracts celebrities, but the income inequality has skyrocketed in recent years," explained Forbes Senior Editor Kurt Badenhausen.

The rankings are based on factors including jobless rates, violent crime, foreclosures, income and property taxes, as well as considerations like weather, commute time and political corruption.

Reeling for decades from the decline of the U.S. auto industry, Michigan's troubled duo of Detroit and Flint registered at No. 2 and No. 3, respectively, among the most miserable cities.

"Detroit and Flint are struggling," said Badenhausen. "Violent crime is highest in the country in Detroit; housing prices are down 55 percent. Detroit is closing schools and laying off policemen. In recent years they have been demolishing houses to change their city landscapes"

West Palm Beach, Florida and Sacramento, California rounded out the top five cities.

"We're trying to judge cities where residents have a lot of complaints. It doesn't mean that there aren't terrific things there," he said.

And for the haves Miami's charms remain undiminished.

"The one percent in Miami is doing fantastic. But for the vast majority, who make less than $75,000 (a year), Miami can be a challenging place," he said. "Forty-seven percent of homeowners sit on underwater mortgages. That's tough."