Firstly, if you’ve never been there, Sweeney’s is one of the only pubs in town that consistently puts on FREE gigs with ORIGINAL bands. Sorry for the capitals there but I think that’s pretty important. For a while there we were stuck with places like Fitzsimon’s, pumping out the crap standard chart pop crap, Whelan’s, charging ten euro to be insulted by a dj when you’re just trying to ask him to play the Smiths, and Eamonn Doran’s, which was good for gigs but frequently smelt like piss.

Anyway now all the talented local unsigned bands have gravitated towards this new haven for rock, prog, funk, prunk, frock, and everything in between. I usually head down to Sweeney’s on a Thursday to check out their night called Dimestore, which usually features an eclectic mix of music and people, and a weird beer that tastes like orange peel. It’s not bad.

Last time I was there it was Arthur’s Day, or Our Thursday, as they punningly called it. The place was packed and noisy, and there was a band conveniently called Noise Machine playing. The gig started off with the guitarist taking a piss in a pint glass, which I thought was pretty rock and roll. Although I talked to him later and he said he’d just done it because he didn’t have time to fight his way through the crowd to the bathroom and get back to the stage in time for the gig. Still pretty cool though. Also he was wearing a skirt. A nice black lace one, which he had cunningly matched up with a brown zippy Vespa jacket and silver Asics runners.

The music was of a farcical nature, involving balloon noises and possibly a small mouse.The lead singer squealed his random nonsensical lyrics through musical registers previously unknown to man, while also suffering from a bad cold, which brought the bodily fluid presence on stage up to at least two.

The bass player, who I’m told was standing in from his jazz prog metal funk explosion band Tongue Bundle, looked like a seventies cop and acted like he was soundtracking a porno. The lead guitarist certainly knows how to play though high squeedly notes up on the tiny strings, and the drummer is just great at hitting things with sticks. The guitarist also kept playing excerpts from the Police Academy theme, which I thought was a tribute to the recently deceased Bubba Smith, who played Hightower, but apparently he just does that all the time.

They played all their hits, like Second Shoebox With Spore, Shaking Hands With The Mice, and I Wanna Have Sex With You, which judging by their thrusting, they did. I’d recommend these guys if you want a fantastic, ridiculous, surreal experience, and possibly a free balloon.

Tanya Branagan