In a statement issued today, former minister Micheal Lowry dismissed as “fiction, a complete fiction, ludicrous, a fantasy projected from a diseased mind” the findings of Justice Moriarty that Mr Lowry had received from businessman Ben Dunne, in a period from 1992 to 1998, Dunnes Stores Value Club points to the value of £243,000.

In a detailed statement, Mr Lowry provided detailed accounts of regular shopping trips during which “through careful management and planning I had taken advantage of offers of extra points, bonus points, supersaver combos and other promotions, allowing me to amass a substantial portfolio of value club points”.

In his report, Justice Moriarty said he was dismayed by what he deemed a vulgar abuse of Mr Lowry’s position, whereby Mr Lowry “pressed into the service of his own acquisitive nature the privileges afforded by holding Public Office”. Justice Moriarty found that Mr Lowry had obtained multiple Value Club cards in his own name.

In some cases - using English solicitor Christopher Vaughan – cards had been obtained for Mr Lowry using addresses in the UK. Mr Lowry said that there was nothing illegal in this latter activity, characterizing it instead as “taking advantage of the opportunity to avail of great bonus points offers, for example in May of 1998, an extra 500 points for spending £30 STG on frozen foods, or in October of 1995, 350 bonus points for a spend of £20 STG on Dunnes Stores own Simply Better pasta range. Does Justice Moriarty not eat pasta? He should.”

Responding to further allegations in the report that he had received payments from Telecoms millionaire Denis O’Brien Mr Lowry said “Any monies I received from Denis O’Brien were in return for professional services that are not and were not at odds with my role as Minister. For a number of years I was employed as a Customer Interaction Specialist for his Yes, Yes, Oh Yes Minister!, premium chat line.” When contacted by phone and challenged as to whether this was a dignified manner for a public representative to subsidise his income, Mr Lowry – appearing to become suddenly breathless - replied “I’ve been a bad boy, maybe you should spank me”.

Arena Sophist