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MTV drops music from logo, Reality TV numbed masses oblivious

International TV network MTV dropped the ‘Music’ from its Music Television logo this week, to the shock and suprise of absolutely nobody who had encountered its output over the last decade.

MTV, credited with creating the reality tv show format with ‘The Real World’ in 1992, has relegated music to it’s satellite channels in recent years, preferring to concentrate on inflicting such human viruses as The Osbornes, Paris Hilton, My Super Sweet Sixteen, Jessica Simpsons and The Hills on the TV viewing population.

‘I taught MTV meant Mongo Tellyvision to be honest,’ said Mr. Joey Josephs of Dubbelin. “Music’s been shite since Elvis died innanyways. Bring back de King!’

“Oh my gawwwd, now way is that what the Em meant?,” replied one velour- tracksuited peroxide blonde angel we spoke to on Dublin’s Grafters Street. That’s sooooooooo cool. Totally."

"I suppose they don't have much music anymore, but I mean if wasn’t for the likes of The Simple Life and The Hills a generation of young Irish women would have missed out some of the most valuable lessons a girl can learn. Y'know?"

MTV Rules for the modern woman

1. Make yourself look like a clone of your friends and as close to a Barbie doll as possible
2. Bitch about and backstab all of your so-called BFFS while trying to steal their boyfriends
3.
It’s far more important how hot you look than how decent a person you are
4.
Above all do absolutely nothing remotely useful with yourself, and use someone else’s reflected fame to foster your deluded sense of entitlement.

The channel’s slack jawed drooling viewers will be glad that high standards are being maintained – The Spanner can exclusively reveal the next two show’s off the reality gold mine production line.

Spring season - Yo yo all you Pimps and Hos – Following the glamorous life of a New York ‘playa’ as he sells the bodies of various damaged women to fulfill his own appetite for drugs and extravagantly vulgar jewellery.

Laugh as our hero punches one of his ‘sassy bitches’ in the face, empathise as he is forced to shoot a business associate for an unpaid debt, and feel a warm glow inside as he uses his gritty life struggle as material for a forthcoming rap opus.

Autumn Prime Time- F*ck me famous
– follow our group of ambitious young men and women as they aim to climb the ladder of fame and fortune by sleeping their way to the top of their chosen profession. A lack of talent or brains won’t stop them as they know just how much they deserve their rewards. The taste of the boss’ wrinkly genitals will be washed away once they’re sipping cocktails on a yacht in the Caribbean.

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Enda and Sarko remember the good oul days

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Joke of the Day

John Terry won't be facing trial for racial abuse until after Euro 2012. So he's free to lead his country into Poland. Just like his hero did.
(Manic1)

Spanner TV

Don't feed the Elephants

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Irishman makes "billion-euro home" of shredded notes

(Reuters) - An unemployed Irish artist has built a home from the shredded remains of 1.4 billion euros ($1.82 billion), a monument to the "madness" he says has been wrought on Ireland by the single currency, from a spectacular construction boom to a wrenching bust.

Frank Buckley built the apartment in the lobby of a Dublin office building that has lain vacant since its completion four years ago at the peak of an ill-fated construction boom, using bricks of shredded euro notes he borrowed from Ireland's national mint.

"It's a reflection of the whole madness that gripped us," Buckley said of what he calls his "billion-euro home."

"People were pouring billions into buildings now worth nothing," he said. "I wanted to create something from nothing."

A wave of cheap credit flowed into Ireland in the early 2000s after Ireland joined the currency zone fuelling a huge property bubble that transformed the country.

The bubble's collapse since 2007 plunged Ireland into the deepest recession in the industrialized world, forcing the former "Celtic Tiger" to accept a humiliating bailout from the EU and the IMF.

Buckley was given a 100 percent mortgage at the peak of the boom to buy a 365,000 euro home on the far reaches of Dublin's commuter belt, despite the fact he had no steady income.

He has separated from his wife who lives in the home, which has since lost at least one-third of its value.

Living in his "billion euro home" since the start of December, Buckley is working on adding a kitchen to the living room and hall.

The walls and floor are covered in euro shreddings and the house is so warm Buckley sleeps without a blanket.

Pictures made from notes and coins decorate the walls, including one of a house, made from Irish 5 pence pieces.

"There are houses in Ireland worth less than that," Buckley quips.

Buckley said he wants Europe's politicians to solve the eurozone debt crisis without destroying its currency. But if the currency ultimately fails, he will happily use the euro zone's defunct notes as fodder for future projects.

"Whatever you say about the euro, it's a great insulator."