The city centre remains in a state of turmoil today, after Independent TD for Roscommon/South Leitrim, Luke 'Ming The Merciless' Campbell's bloody rampage through Government Buildings yesterday afternoon. "It was awful - there were bodies everywhere" gasped Alan Kelly, Fine Gael Minister of State for Transport, as he dragged himself from the smouldering rubble of what remains of the Kildare Street complex.

Although reports of events in the Dail yesterday are sketchy at present, the story patched together from the traumatized ravings of the few survivors who have managed to escape Flanagan's murderous frenzy have reported that the normally mildly eccentric Roscommon man was upset by a heated exchange in the Dail chamber.

A verbal dispute with Fine Gale backbencher James Bannon over the speaking order for debate on today's Postal Services Bill escalated unexpectedly into a minor scuffle also involving Independent TD for Galway West Noel Grealish and Labour Party Minister Joan Burton. Efforts to restrain Flanagan by other Members present only served to further enrage the Roscommon man, but it was reportedly Ceann Comhraile Sean Barrett's threat to have him ejected from the chamber “if the Deputy doesn’t stop all that rowdy carry on”, that sent the pony-tailed lunatic over the edge.

"He stormed out of the chamber, screaming that none of us would be spared" a heavily bandaged Leo Varadkar told reporters. "And that when the explosions started." A Garda cordon has been established around Government buildings, from behind which the deranged, maniacal laughter of the homicidal politician is still clearly audible.

The commencement of a rein of terror by Flanagan is being called “a shrewd political move” by some commentators. “This tactic has certainly forced his issues onto the agenda.” explained Irish Time political analyst Stephen Collins. “In the aftermath of the election, there were those who questioned whether or not the wave of Independents who became part of the 31st Dail would be able to have any influence. For so-called “fringe” candidates like Deputy Flanagan finding a way to force their issues onto the agenda was certainly a concern. And today’s coup, and the establishment of his violent and oppressive reign of terror may be a way to do just that.”

- Ryan Kenny