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Michael Noonan denies the Famine ever happened

For all the haters!

After boldly claiming that many of the Irish emigrating were deciding to do so due to a lifestyle choice, Michael Noonan has now come out and said that the famine never happened.

In a sensational rant, Noonan has questioned the events which starved thousands and forced a large portion of the country to emigrate.

"There was always food in Ireland, the famine is a fabrication, why couldn’t they shoot a bird, catch a fish, fry an egg?" he asked. “If ya ask me the so-called famine was just one big lifestyle choice with people trying to slim down and if they failed they emigrated”

“Believe you me, there was peeps back in the 1800’s rocking the crash diets aiming to get to the beloved size euro and unfortunately this produced some casualties but they all emigrated because of that? Give me a break!”

Noonan went on to say that people didn’t like this inconvenient truth and that he was proud to make these comments to disprove the fictionist famine.

“I’m naturally curious and won’t believe anything until there are blatant facts that can’t be argued with, you know the type I’m talking about???”

“All it was was an excuse to emigrate and they say history repeats itself and it has, people running scared these days because there’s no jobs, what a load of bull, they just want to head to bondi and the likes, wear their county jerseys and get shitfaced, that’s the real reason , they are just lazy mollycoddled, lumpish, onion eyed minions not willing to do anything.

Rumours are rife in Leinster House that Noonan has also gone on the record to say that he believes the 1916 rising never happened and that Michael Collins never existed while also questioning the moon landing and believing that Elvis is still alive and probably in hiding in Moate, Co.Westmeath a la Michael Jackson.

Seamus Dunne

 
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Topless Ukraine activist grabs Euro Cup

(Reuters) - A Ukrainian women's rights activist stripped to the waist and seized the Euro-2012 soccer trophy while it was on public display in Kiev on Saturday in a protest against the forthcoming month-long championship.

 
The young woman, 23-year-old Yulia Kovpachik, is a member of the Kiev-based Femen women's rights group which believes the Euro-2012 soccer tournament being played in Ukraine next month will encourage sex tourism.
 
Kovpachik strode up to the silver, 60 centimeter (two feet) high trophy, which was on display as a tourist attraction in an open air exhibition in central Kiev, ostensibly to be photographed alongside it like hundreds of other sightseers.
 
But she then pulled down her red T-shirt to reveal the words "Fuck Euro 2012" scrawled on her torso. As she grabbed hold of the cup with both hands, she was seized by security guards, who appeared to have had advanced warning of the protest.
 
They covered her with a sheet and took her off to a waiting police car.
 
The protest appeared to be the first action in a campaign against the championship by Femen which regularly stages bare-breast protests in Ukraine - and sometimes beyond - to highlight what it sees as political injustice, social abuse and the exploitation of women in Ukraine.
 
Femen says Euro-2012, which Ukraine is co-hosting with Poland next month with the final in Kiev on July 1, will be a magnet for sex tourists - one of the group's main targets - and will feed a booming sex industry.
 
About one million foreign tourists are expected in Ukraine for the Euros.
 
Organisers said the 8 kg (17 lbs) Henri Delaunay cup was undamaged though Kovpachik appeared to topple back under its weight as security guards seized her. It was still on show in late evening.
 
Femen's spokeswoman, Anna Gutsol, said Kovpachik, who staged the protest on her 23rd birthday, was released after being told she would have to appear in court on Monday on a charge of hooliganism. The charge carries a maximum fine of 800 hryvnias ($100) and 15 days detention.
 
Conscious of Ukraine's growing reputation as a new destination for sex tourism, Euro-2012 organisers say they are taking steps to curb prostitution during the month-long tournament.
 
After Kovpachik's protest, Femen activist Olexandra Shevchenko told reporters: "We came here today to stop this Euro fan low-life from making a bordello out of Ukraine."
 
City authorities have mounted the trophy in a temporary exhibition area on Kiev's Independence Square.
 
Hundreds of sightseers were queuing up under the blazing sun for souvenir photographs alongside it when Kovpachik staged her demonstration.
 
Independence Square itself will be the centre of a huge 'fan-zone' during Euro-2012, capable of holding tens of thousands of football supporters.

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