Ryanair CEO Michael O’ Leary has ordered 100 new Boeing 737 MAX 200 aircraft, with an option to buy another 100. O’ Leary has laughed off any suggestions the aircrafts will be purchased second hand, and promises to keep Ryanairs sterling record of ‘no terrorist activity’ on its fleet to stay standing.

The new model of airplane is touted to be ‘game-changer’ of the aviation field, and O’ Leary looks set to make some adjustments.

1. The seating capacity of the plane will be tripled from its standard size, with the extra chairs being fitted in to give it what O’ Leary calls “That authentic Ryaniar travelling experience that no other airline would dare offer its cun….customers.”

2. O’ Leary feels the novelty of being served food and the odd drink on a flight is now ‘…outdated, like smoking in a pub. Why don’t you f**k off outside if you’re so hungry? On that point, we haven’t used one solitary parachute since I got involved in Ryanair. Just wasting a space. We’re getting rid of them too.”

3. The staff aboard the air crafts will be hired fairly and equally as always based on their ‘rack’.

4. All electronic devices will be confiscated upon entering the aircraft, returned as soon as soon as they arrive at the destination. This is a measure to ensure the on-board technology is not tampered with. Internet access and a music service will be available on the flight for what O’ Leary describes as  “a perfectly fair and legal, non-refundable fee.”

5. Other extra charges for flying on the improved airplanes will be “so well-hidden none of those pigs (Ryanair customers) will notice them.”

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