Logo
 Linking to Smedias 2012
 
 Linking to Free Stuff
 
 Linking to The Spanner Homepage
 
 Linking to Entertainment
 
Jobs boost as Strike Breaking firm to employ 300 hired goons
irish strike breakers protestors attacked

Multi-national strike breaking specialists Headcrackers Incorporated have announced plans to expand into the Irish market.

The new venture will result in the creation of 300 jobs nationally, in a diverse range of areas such as administration, customer service and beating people with pickaxe handles. Anyone with an interest in sadism or right wing politics is encouraged to apply.

“Well it might be bust for Ireland but it’s boom for us baby,” CEO Aidan Bowen-Crusher, told The Spanner. “There are so many strikes on the way here that we’ll be up to our knees in lefty blood in no time.

“It reminds me of the golden days of the 1913 lockout. My grandfather started this company then to break up strikes for William Martin Murphy. Ah those were the days. You could inflict as much violence on exploited workers as you liked and if they complained to the cops they’d get a smack in the jaw for talking out of turn.”

“Nowadays it’s all human rights and blady blah and I want to be a transsexual refugee and still get paid minimum wage. Pah! I blame Europe. Never trust people who eat salami for breakfast.”

The company specialises in ‘strategic labour relations solutions,’ which Bowen-Crusher clarifies as ‘basically baiting the dung out of people who won’t go back to work or try to block scabs getting in. We’ve proven our worth over the last year sorting out protestors in Iran and Burma and we’re expecting things to run just as smoothly here.’

Head of the Dem Bleedin Pampered Public Servants Union, John Handenumber, said that his members aren’t particularly worried about the arrival of Headcrackers on the scene.

“Strike breakers?” he laughed. “Sure what are they going to break? We’ll all be up the North doing the Christmas shopping anyway so there’ll be nobody on the picket line to batter. Good luck to them”
 

In completely unrelated news:
Spanner Budget exclusive - Porn Tax and Facebook Levy to raise Billions
Closer reading of Darwin's 'Origin of Species' reveals repeated references to Unicorns
Spanner TV - Skangers on Salvia  

Bookmark and Share

 

Win an iPad, iPhone or free Pizza!

The generous people at Apache Pizza are giving away 5 ipads, 10 iPhones and 500 large pizzas. All you have to do is complete a 1 minute survey on... Pizza!

 Linking to http://www.apache.ie/onlinesurvey

Spanner Pics

Enda and Sarko remember the good oul days

 Linking to Spanner Pics - Enda and Sarko

Joke of the Day

John Terry won't be facing trial for racial abuse until after Euro 2012. So he's free to lead his country into Poland. Just like his hero did.
(Manic1)

Spanner TV

Don't feed the Elephants

 Linking to Spanner TV - Don't Feed the Elephants
 

Irishman makes "billion-euro home" of shredded notes

(Reuters) - An unemployed Irish artist has built a home from the shredded remains of 1.4 billion euros ($1.82 billion), a monument to the "madness" he says has been wrought on Ireland by the single currency, from a spectacular construction boom to a wrenching bust.

Frank Buckley built the apartment in the lobby of a Dublin office building that has lain vacant since its completion four years ago at the peak of an ill-fated construction boom, using bricks of shredded euro notes he borrowed from Ireland's national mint.

"It's a reflection of the whole madness that gripped us," Buckley said of what he calls his "billion-euro home."

"People were pouring billions into buildings now worth nothing," he said. "I wanted to create something from nothing."

A wave of cheap credit flowed into Ireland in the early 2000s after Ireland joined the currency zone fuelling a huge property bubble that transformed the country.

The bubble's collapse since 2007 plunged Ireland into the deepest recession in the industrialized world, forcing the former "Celtic Tiger" to accept a humiliating bailout from the EU and the IMF.

Buckley was given a 100 percent mortgage at the peak of the boom to buy a 365,000 euro home on the far reaches of Dublin's commuter belt, despite the fact he had no steady income.

He has separated from his wife who lives in the home, which has since lost at least one-third of its value.

Living in his "billion euro home" since the start of December, Buckley is working on adding a kitchen to the living room and hall.

The walls and floor are covered in euro shreddings and the house is so warm Buckley sleeps without a blanket.

Pictures made from notes and coins decorate the walls, including one of a house, made from Irish 5 pence pieces.

"There are houses in Ireland worth less than that," Buckley quips.

Buckley said he wants Europe's politicians to solve the eurozone debt crisis without destroying its currency. But if the currency ultimately fails, he will happily use the euro zone's defunct notes as fodder for future projects.

"Whatever you say about the euro, it's a great insulator."