Reports have highlighted that absenteeism is continuing to be a huge problem for the Health Service Executive in the west of Ireland. According to latest figures, approximately 5-6% of workers in Galway University Hospital don’t feel like getting out of bed in the morning.

Unnamed members of staff at the hospital are reportedly angry at having a full time job with decent pay and are threatening longer lie-ins if hospital management do not cut hours and increase their salary. “Management are treating us like normal workers. How do they expect us to work a full shift every day? I want to be at home every afternoon in time for Jeremy Kyle. This is a disgrace.”

A spokesperson for HSE West said “if you take a large hospital and 5-6 per cent of staff are absent, it means that 100 staff are absent every day. I know we all hate working, even I take a sick day every few days or so, but you’d think they would come up with some better excuses. One woman said her dog ate her uniform…no effort at all is put in.”

Director of regional operations, John Hennessey, also noted that low morale could possibly be an issue in the high absenteeism rates. “That is an issue we have to grapple with nationally and locally in terms of how people feel coming into work for the HSE,” he said. “Everyone hates it, for a hospital it’s a surprisingly depressing place. And we spent too much money on staff holidays last year so they’ve had to cut the staff bar. I suggested taking away a couple of wards instead but whoever those people in the beds are started complaining.”

HSE authorities have no idea how to solve their employee issues. Firing staff who couldn’t be bothered to turn up for work in the morning was dismissed as being far too extreme a reaction, with some board members suggesting shortening the working day to accommodate those who prefer longer lie-ins in the morning.

Negotiations are expected to continue for some time.

Conor Forrest