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Fianna Fail backbenchers vow to take a stand on minor insignificant issues

A number of Fianna Failure TDs and senators have announced their intention to challenge the government’s position on a range of trivial, less significant issues.

The brave soldiers of destiny’s child will vote against the government on any legislation they disagree with, just as long as it won’t actually help to bring down the useless shower of faecal matter.

The unique approach, which has been dubbed the ‘Termonfeckin strategy’, allows Fianna Failure members of the Oireachtais to keep their redneck constituents happy by voting against ‘controversial’ legislation - such as letting the gays make the same mistakes in choosing partners as straight people and making it illegal to torture animals for entertainment.

The rebels (small r) can do this by carefully choosing laws that enjoy cross party support in the Dail, leaving them safe in the knowledge that the government won’t lose the vote. However when it comes to votes on writing a blank cheque for busted banks, or cutting care for the disabled, our heroes are only to happy to fall in line.

“I’m just following my conscience,” said TD for Tipperary East, Brian Ryan. “I happen to believe that homosexual gays should not be allowed to participate in the sacred institution of marriage. They already have a few pubs up in Dublin and yer man Norris in the Seanad, is that not enough for them?

“As for hunting, it’s typical Dublin bias yet again. There are plenty of people who can’t get decent digital TV or internet packages in rural areas, and killing animals for sport is the only entertainment they have.”

As for his support for the government on issues such as NAMA, Ryan was less forthright. “Ah sure jaysis, you have to pick your battles,” he said.

“We had some good sessions down in Galway with the builders, sure what kind of lads would we be to turn our backs on them now?

Ryan ruled out voting against the government on issues of confidence such as the budget, saying he still believed that Brian Cowen was the man to run the country.

“He’s useless, but sure then maybe everyone is useless and he’s the least useless?,” suggested the TD. “I won’t bring them down anyway, that’d ruin me in the party forever. I’ve children to think about, if you can’t pass on your Dail seat to them what have they got at all?”

 

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Miami named most miserable U.S. city

(Reuters) - Warm sun, white beaches, and million-dollar mansions notwithstanding, Miami has captured the dubious distinction of being the most miserable city in the United States, according to a new poll.

The playground of the rich and famous is home to a crippling housing crisis, one of the highest crime rates in the country, and lengthy daily commutes for workers, all of which have propelled it to the No. 1 position in the Forbes.com list.

"Miami has sun and beautiful weather but other things make people miserable. You have this two-tier society: glitzy South Beach attracts celebrities, but the income inequality has skyrocketed in recent years," explained Forbes Senior Editor Kurt Badenhausen.

The rankings are based on factors including jobless rates, violent crime, foreclosures, income and property taxes, as well as considerations like weather, commute time and political corruption.

Reeling for decades from the decline of the U.S. auto industry, Michigan's troubled duo of Detroit and Flint registered at No. 2 and No. 3, respectively, among the most miserable cities.

"Detroit and Flint are struggling," said Badenhausen. "Violent crime is highest in the country in Detroit; housing prices are down 55 percent. Detroit is closing schools and laying off policemen. In recent years they have been demolishing houses to change their city landscapes"

West Palm Beach, Florida and Sacramento, California rounded out the top five cities.

"We're trying to judge cities where residents have a lot of complaints. It doesn't mean that there aren't terrific things there," he said.

And for the haves Miami's charms remain undiminished.

"The one percent in Miami is doing fantastic. But for the vast majority, who make less than $75,000 (a year), Miami can be a challenging place," he said. "Forty-seven percent of homeowners sit on underwater mortgages. That's tough."