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Enda Kenny votes confidence in Enda Kenny

Enda and his amigos

Fine Gael leader Enda Kenny has announced that he has ‘full confidence in the inspired leadership of Enda Kenny,” after winning a crucial vote on his leadership of the party.

The statement, issued through the Fine Gael press office, went on to say that Kenny was ‘pure sound’, ‘a great fella’ and “actually very charismatic and convincing when you really think about it.”

Although several members of his front bench backed calls for him to quit, Kenny retained the support of a majority of his parliamentary party.

Among those to declare their support for Inda include TDs E. Kenny and Enda K, neither of whom have courted the media spotlight before.

Kenny's challenger, Richard ‘Et tu’ Bruton, was deputy leader of the blueshirts and finance spokesman until earlier this week, when he finally proposed the End a Enda.

Bruton was reacting to yet another opinion poll which showed that although the Irish people seem to be slowly recovering from their ‘vote Fianna Fail even if they come round to your house and beat up your Granny’ decade long delusion, many would still rather have Jedward as Taoiseach than the Castlebar blusterer.

“Enda’s a grand lad,” said one Fine Gael activist. “But then again, so is my cousin Larry who runs the car wash in Moate. No one’s about to let him run the country though.

“Maybe it’s the Mayo thing? People are probably worried he’ll choke when he gets to the big stage in Dublin...

Taoiseach Biffo Cowman will have been grateful for Fine Gael’s internal difficulties this week, as the issue of a Dail no confidence motion in him for bravely budgeting the country into financial meltdown has been overshadowed.

In response to questions, Cowman said that he didn’t want to comment on the business of another political party, other than to say ‘Aha ha ha, ha ha, ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha, ha!”.

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Miami named most miserable U.S. city

(Reuters) - Warm sun, white beaches, and million-dollar mansions notwithstanding, Miami has captured the dubious distinction of being the most miserable city in the United States, according to a new poll.

The playground of the rich and famous is home to a crippling housing crisis, one of the highest crime rates in the country, and lengthy daily commutes for workers, all of which have propelled it to the No. 1 position in the Forbes.com list.

"Miami has sun and beautiful weather but other things make people miserable. You have this two-tier society: glitzy South Beach attracts celebrities, but the income inequality has skyrocketed in recent years," explained Forbes Senior Editor Kurt Badenhausen.

The rankings are based on factors including jobless rates, violent crime, foreclosures, income and property taxes, as well as considerations like weather, commute time and political corruption.

Reeling for decades from the decline of the U.S. auto industry, Michigan's troubled duo of Detroit and Flint registered at No. 2 and No. 3, respectively, among the most miserable cities.

"Detroit and Flint are struggling," said Badenhausen. "Violent crime is highest in the country in Detroit; housing prices are down 55 percent. Detroit is closing schools and laying off policemen. In recent years they have been demolishing houses to change their city landscapes"

West Palm Beach, Florida and Sacramento, California rounded out the top five cities.

"We're trying to judge cities where residents have a lot of complaints. It doesn't mean that there aren't terrific things there," he said.

And for the haves Miami's charms remain undiminished.

"The one percent in Miami is doing fantastic. But for the vast majority, who make less than $75,000 (a year), Miami can be a challenging place," he said. "Forty-seven percent of homeowners sit on underwater mortgages. That's tough."