Logo
 Linking to Smedias 2012
 
 Linking to Free Stuff
 
 Linking to The Spanner Homepage
 
 Linking to Entertainment
 
County Kerry officially forgotten about

Despondent but not disappointed

The county of Kerry was thrown into disarray as CSO figures published today confirmed what most people from Abbeydorney to Waterville had suspected for years; Nobody gives a shit about Kerry anymore.

Kerry, once the darling holiday home destination for foreigners and Irelanders alike, has seen a dramatic decrease in popularity in the last seven and a quarter years.
The CSO poll of 'Counties in Public Consciousness' today ranked it at 31st, a drop of 27 places since its peak in January 2004. Losing out only to Louth, of course, in 32nd.

No famous Kerrymen could be thought of to contact for comment. However, locals were said to be 'despondent but not surprised' by the poll indicating that the Kingdom had been forgotten. Throughout the day mirthless mobs of pitchfork clad Kerrymen standing in fields had discussed the issues at length, laying the blame on several different sources.

Noisy neighbour Cork was first to have the calloused finger pointed at it. Some suggested that The Rebels continued insistence that it is 'much much bigger and better than any other county, so there', was deafening the silent but confident tone of Kerry's call. Others mumbled indiscernible sentences involving words like 'recession', 'Bertie' and 'loss of the potato standard'.

Finally, however, the real reason was discovered late in the day. Whilst most Kingdom inhabitants were happy to be finally left alone after the 'Kerryman' joke went out of fashion in the early 2000's along with Bowling for Soup and Panjabi MC, this loss from popular culture has driven the county from the consciousness of the nation. It remains to be seen whether Kerry can reclaim their former glory. This reporter thinks not as The Spanner can exclusively reveal that dialogue has been struck up, astonishingly, between Cork and Kerry representitives on a potential merger this evening. Cork officials have welcomed the discussions that will lead to 'living space for the right and honourable Corkonian race.'

Kerrymen, have a drink on the house from me. Leave your ladders at home this time though.

Steve Culligan

 

 
Bookmark and Share
 

 Spanner Pics

Facebook, Doggy-style

 Linking to Spanner Pics - Facebook, Doggy-style

 Joke of the Day

It is rumoured that President Robert Mugabe is fighting for his life in a Singapore hospital.

Doctors are working around the clock pretending to try and save him.

(Jimmy Carr)

Spanner TV

The sequel to White Men Can't Jump...

 Linking to Spanner TV - Big Man Can't Dunk
 

Topless Ukraine activist grabs Euro Cup

(Reuters) - A Ukrainian women's rights activist stripped to the waist and seized the Euro-2012 soccer trophy while it was on public display in Kiev on Saturday in a protest against the forthcoming month-long championship.

 
The young woman, 23-year-old Yulia Kovpachik, is a member of the Kiev-based Femen women's rights group which believes the Euro-2012 soccer tournament being played in Ukraine next month will encourage sex tourism.
 
Kovpachik strode up to the silver, 60 centimeter (two feet) high trophy, which was on display as a tourist attraction in an open air exhibition in central Kiev, ostensibly to be photographed alongside it like hundreds of other sightseers.
 
But she then pulled down her red T-shirt to reveal the words "Fuck Euro 2012" scrawled on her torso. As she grabbed hold of the cup with both hands, she was seized by security guards, who appeared to have had advanced warning of the protest.
 
They covered her with a sheet and took her off to a waiting police car.
 
The protest appeared to be the first action in a campaign against the championship by Femen which regularly stages bare-breast protests in Ukraine - and sometimes beyond - to highlight what it sees as political injustice, social abuse and the exploitation of women in Ukraine.
 
Femen says Euro-2012, which Ukraine is co-hosting with Poland next month with the final in Kiev on July 1, will be a magnet for sex tourists - one of the group's main targets - and will feed a booming sex industry.
 
About one million foreign tourists are expected in Ukraine for the Euros.
 
Organisers said the 8 kg (17 lbs) Henri Delaunay cup was undamaged though Kovpachik appeared to topple back under its weight as security guards seized her. It was still on show in late evening.
 
Femen's spokeswoman, Anna Gutsol, said Kovpachik, who staged the protest on her 23rd birthday, was released after being told she would have to appear in court on Monday on a charge of hooliganism. The charge carries a maximum fine of 800 hryvnias ($100) and 15 days detention.
 
Conscious of Ukraine's growing reputation as a new destination for sex tourism, Euro-2012 organisers say they are taking steps to curb prostitution during the month-long tournament.
 
After Kovpachik's protest, Femen activist Olexandra Shevchenko told reporters: "We came here today to stop this Euro fan low-life from making a bordello out of Ukraine."
 
City authorities have mounted the trophy in a temporary exhibition area on Kiev's Independence Square.
 
Hundreds of sightseers were queuing up under the blazing sun for souvenir photographs alongside it when Kovpachik staged her demonstration.
 
Independence Square itself will be the centre of a huge 'fan-zone' during Euro-2012, capable of holding tens of thousands of football supporters.

Link of the week

Auld lads are a gas bit of craic so they are. And they're on Twitter here. By Jaysus...