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Cody: 'I will stomp a kitten for every point we concede'

By Waterford Whispers News

Kilkenny hurling manager Brian Cody has threatened his team again this week by promising to kill a kitten for every point they concede in future championship games.

Cody, a descendant of Fionn mac Cumhaill, warned his players of the consequences of sloppy defending in a training session last week.

One player quoted him as saying: "Its true what they say, every action does have an equal and opposite reaction. Your actions, or lack of them, will cost the life of an innocent animal. Its simple: If You let the other team score, I stomp a kitten!".

The player, who wishes to remain anonymous, stated that Cody was in a furious mood the day of the training session and was not happy with the teams defence.

"He was more angry than usual. I mean, hes always angry but this time he was on fuming. He came into the dressing room like a flaming tornado. He was carrying a bag. We could hear kitten screams emanating from it. I had a hunch that this wasn't going to go well. He was shouting on about our defence for ages and said it was 'diabolical'.

"He called one of the players a 'fucking thick' and then asked him to turn around so he could rub his facial hair across the small of his back. This was common practice with Brian. He once told me that he liked the noise the hair made against the soft skin and that it calmed him down." said the player.

"After the 'stubbling', he then made the threat about the kittens. Everyone was horrified. He was swinging the bag around, pretending to aim it at the wall and then stopping just before hitting it. His eyes were wild and crazy-like. We were all very scared at that point." he added.

Cody was later seen by a passer-by dumping a similar bag into a wheelie bin outside Nolan Park in Kilkenny city. However, there is no confirmation on whether the kittens were inside the bag at the time.

Kilkenny are hugely fancied to come out victorious in this years senior hurling championship. They have won the title 32 times including the last four years in a row. Sources close to the manager have said that there is huge pressure on Cody and his team to get the five in a row this year.

Brian Cody is regarded as one of the greatest hurling managers of the modern game but has come into some controversy lately regarding his unorthodox approach to discipline and his sadistic training methods.

Earlier this year he came under fire after one of his players had to be put down after snapping a cruciate ligament. The player, Tommy Walsh, injured himself whilst jumping over the north end crossbar during a training session in Nolan Park. Cody was blamed by supporters for pushing the players too much.

The practice of 'cross-bar jumping' has since been banned by the GAA.

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Miami named most miserable U.S. city

(Reuters) - Warm sun, white beaches, and million-dollar mansions notwithstanding, Miami has captured the dubious distinction of being the most miserable city in the United States, according to a new poll.

The playground of the rich and famous is home to a crippling housing crisis, one of the highest crime rates in the country, and lengthy daily commutes for workers, all of which have propelled it to the No. 1 position in the Forbes.com list.

"Miami has sun and beautiful weather but other things make people miserable. You have this two-tier society: glitzy South Beach attracts celebrities, but the income inequality has skyrocketed in recent years," explained Forbes Senior Editor Kurt Badenhausen.

The rankings are based on factors including jobless rates, violent crime, foreclosures, income and property taxes, as well as considerations like weather, commute time and political corruption.

Reeling for decades from the decline of the U.S. auto industry, Michigan's troubled duo of Detroit and Flint registered at No. 2 and No. 3, respectively, among the most miserable cities.

"Detroit and Flint are struggling," said Badenhausen. "Violent crime is highest in the country in Detroit; housing prices are down 55 percent. Detroit is closing schools and laying off policemen. In recent years they have been demolishing houses to change their city landscapes"

West Palm Beach, Florida and Sacramento, California rounded out the top five cities.

"We're trying to judge cities where residents have a lot of complaints. It doesn't mean that there aren't terrific things there," he said.

And for the haves Miami's charms remain undiminished.

"The one percent in Miami is doing fantastic. But for the vast majority, who make less than $75,000 (a year), Miami can be a challenging place," he said. "Forty-seven percent of homeowners sit on underwater mortgages. That's tough."