It’s that time of year again. Studying for exams. Or, perhaps more accurately, doing anything and everything else other than studying for exams. So, not that anyone really needs any help in this area, but just in case, here are the 10 best ways and reasons for you and your friends not to do any study this December!


  1. It’s been well documented that the most comforting words a student can hear are “me neither” when asked “have you started studying yet?” So, by not doing any work, you’re actually being a really good friend to your peers and, at then end of the day, isn’t that what’s really important?




2. Failure is character-forming! Have you ever met anyone really successful and really liked them? Of course not! By not doing any study and failing or scraping a pass on your exams, you’re going to be visited by many little weird and interesting feelings! Think “Ghosts of Christmas Procrastination”. Stress, anxiety, guilt, shame, and dread but to name a few. A man is the sum of his “not-studying-for-exams” induced stress. So, make sure you experience plenty of it!



3. Watched Game of Thrones recently? You have? How about The Walking Dead? Another yes?! Great! Watch ‘em all again! Why you ask? Why not, I say.



4. Clean your room! This will give you the comforting illusion of productivity, without actually being productive at all!



5.Go for lots of cigarette breaks! You don’t smoke? Well it’s never too late to start, friend!


6. It’s been said that a good night’s sleep is just as good as a good day’s study. Heed this advice. Heed the ‘eff out of it. Get into bed and stay there.


7. Maybe you should clean your room again?


8. And maybe one more time…


9. Here’s a popular one – make a study schedule for the week! Make sure to use lots of different coloured pens and highlighters! When you’ve finished your masterpiece, you will need to take a break, maybe two. Actually, why not take the whole of the rest of the day off and you can start tomorrow! After all, you spent ages on this thing. Come in the next day and do half the work your intended to do. Uh oh – schedule’s been compromised. Use the rest of your day to make a new one to take into account the work you didn’t do today! Repeat this step for the rest of the week!



10. Stand up. Stretch. Take a walk. Go to the airport. Get on a plane. Never return. You know, like in that meme? But oh wait, no. You can’t do that because you’re a student and you don’t have any money and that’s just stupid.


11. (Secret Tip Number 11) Write an article for a humorous student website.


James Simcox


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