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Child benefit for Gingers to be withdrawn

By Waterford Whispers News

 

The justice minister has called for the withdrawal of child benefit payment from parents whose children have red hair and freckles.

Minister for Justice Equality and Law Reform, Dermot Ahern, is insisting that such a sanction, as a last resort, would encourage red haired couples not to procreate.

The Fianna Fáill T.D. has written to the Taoiseach, putting forward his proposal in advance of the introduction of a 'ginger cull' in March.

"Red haired parents should have to take responsibility. The point I make is that thousands of freckly, red haired children are roaming around our streets without a care in the world."

Mr Ahern said that the proposed structure for culling gingers would see the young person receiving a Ginger order first, which if not complied with would lead to a 'hair dye order' and a good temper contract, all depending of course with their co-operation with local hair dressers and the Gardai.

But he said that failing these very important measures, the removal of the child benefit from such families as a short-term ultimate sanction, should be considered by the Irish government.

"The child benefit is for the upkeep and well-being of normal colour haired children. I believe that the government should have the right to withdraw that until such a time as these parents assume their rights and obligations to society."

The Louth-based Minister said the majority of couples who have red hair were in a position to control the ginger population of Ireland.

 

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Miami named most miserable U.S. city

(Reuters) - Warm sun, white beaches, and million-dollar mansions notwithstanding, Miami has captured the dubious distinction of being the most miserable city in the United States, according to a new poll.

The playground of the rich and famous is home to a crippling housing crisis, one of the highest crime rates in the country, and lengthy daily commutes for workers, all of which have propelled it to the No. 1 position in the Forbes.com list.

"Miami has sun and beautiful weather but other things make people miserable. You have this two-tier society: glitzy South Beach attracts celebrities, but the income inequality has skyrocketed in recent years," explained Forbes Senior Editor Kurt Badenhausen.

The rankings are based on factors including jobless rates, violent crime, foreclosures, income and property taxes, as well as considerations like weather, commute time and political corruption.

Reeling for decades from the decline of the U.S. auto industry, Michigan's troubled duo of Detroit and Flint registered at No. 2 and No. 3, respectively, among the most miserable cities.

"Detroit and Flint are struggling," said Badenhausen. "Violent crime is highest in the country in Detroit; housing prices are down 55 percent. Detroit is closing schools and laying off policemen. In recent years they have been demolishing houses to change their city landscapes"

West Palm Beach, Florida and Sacramento, California rounded out the top five cities.

"We're trying to judge cities where residents have a lot of complaints. It doesn't mean that there aren't terrific things there," he said.

And for the haves Miami's charms remain undiminished.

"The one percent in Miami is doing fantastic. But for the vast majority, who make less than $75,000 (a year), Miami can be a challenging place," he said. "Forty-seven percent of homeowners sit on underwater mortgages. That's tough."