forgot password?
 Linking to Smedias 2010
 
 Linking to Free Stuff
 
 Linking to The Spanner Homepage
 
 Linking to Xposed on Oxygen
 
Bishop issues plea to help fund sex tourism holidays
priest  funny picture pic
Don't forget to check out my holiday album on facebook!

An Irish Bishop has caused controversy by asking parishioners to contribute to a holiday fund for paedophile priests.

Bishop Pius McMitre of the East-Weshtern Midlands diocese made the plea in his weekly parish newsletter, read by 7 people last Sunday.

“The Catholic Church has been criticised for harbouring paedophiles and putting Irish children at risk,” he wrote.

“Well now we have come up with a solution. We’re going to send all of our naughty priests off to Asia for a few weeks every summer, where they can indulge their urges on soulless yellow skinned pagan children.

“They’ll get all that nonsense out of their system and be back in time to safely teach holy communion classes for the new school year.

“It’s a win win solution and all we need from our faithful believers is a crisp 50 euro note once a month. We also accept cheque, laser, credit card, bank draft and postal order. Peace be upon you.”

Abuse victims and children’s rights campaigners have reacted furiously to the initiative, which follows an announcement by the Diocese of Ferns this week that is to seek contributions from parishioners towards the cost of paying sexual abuse claims.

Some have suggested that the Church could sell some of its own multi-billion euro property portfolio to fund compensation claims, but Bishop McMitre rejects the argument.

“This is just another example of trial by media,” the Bishop told The Spanner. “First of all, everyone knows that sexy kids were the original cause of the abuse problem. But oh no, no one blames them ,the dirty little flirts.

“As for selling off property, we need those empty churches in case we have visitors. All of this guff about the Church being one of the richest organisations in the world is just anti-catholic propaganda.

“Now if you wouldn’t mind kissing my gold ring and getting out of here, we’re renovating the west wing of the palace today.”

Bookmark and Share  

Comments header
You must be logged in to post comments - click this link to login
Not a member? Join now!
Username Password
Be the first to comment on this story!
 

Spanner Pics

School's back...

 Linking to Spanner Pics - School's back

Joke of the Week

Guy  walks into a library and asks for a book on Chilean miners. The Librarian says "Sorry, that won't be out till Christmas." (Meynell94)

Spanner TV

There's no better way to spoil a session of the ancient art of yoga than unexpected flatulence...

 Linking to Spanner TV - Yoga Fart
 

 Overpaid sports stars sicken supporter

(Reuters) A New Jersey man was jailed for up to three months on Friday for making himself vomit on a fellow spectator at a baseball game.

Matthew Clemmens, 21, was sent to prison for at least 30 days, given two years probation, and ordered to serve 50 hours of community service, and pay $315 in restitution after the incident.

"Clemmens pleaded guilty to making himself throw up on a young girl at a Phillies game," the district attorney's office said in a statement.

    For slightly more made-up and definitely more hilarious news stories check out
The Spanner Online