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Bishop issues plea to help fund sex tourism holidays
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An Irish Bishop has caused controversy by asking parishioners to contribute to a holiday fund for paedophile priests.

Bishop Pius McMitre of the East-Weshtern Midlands diocese made the plea in his weekly parish newsletter, read by 7 people last Sunday.

“The Catholic Church has been criticised for harbouring paedophiles and putting Irish children at risk,” he wrote.

“Well now we have come up with a solution. We’re going to send all of our naughty priests off to Asia for a few weeks every summer, where they can indulge their urges on soulless yellow skinned pagan children.

“They’ll get all that nonsense out of their system and be back in time to safely teach holy communion classes for the new school year.

“It’s a win win solution and all we need from our faithful believers is a crisp 50 euro note once a month. We also accept cheque, laser, credit card, bank draft and postal order. Peace be upon you.”

Abuse victims and children’s rights campaigners have reacted furiously to the initiative, which follows an announcement by the Diocese of Ferns this week that is to seek contributions from parishioners towards the cost of paying sexual abuse claims.

Some have suggested that the Church could sell some of its own multi-billion euro property portfolio to fund compensation claims, but Bishop McMitre rejects the argument.

“This is just another example of trial by media,” the Bishop told The Spanner. “First of all, everyone knows that sexy kids were the original cause of the abuse problem. But oh no, no one blames them ,the dirty little flirts.

“As for selling off property, we need those empty churches in case we have visitors. All of this guff about the Church being one of the richest organisations in the world is just anti-catholic propaganda.

“Now if you wouldn’t mind kissing my gold ring and getting out of here, we’re renovating the west wing of the palace today.”

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Irishman makes "billion-euro home" of shredded notes

(Reuters) - An unemployed Irish artist has built a home from the shredded remains of 1.4 billion euros ($1.82 billion), a monument to the "madness" he says has been wrought on Ireland by the single currency, from a spectacular construction boom to a wrenching bust.

Frank Buckley built the apartment in the lobby of a Dublin office building that has lain vacant since its completion four years ago at the peak of an ill-fated construction boom, using bricks of shredded euro notes he borrowed from Ireland's national mint.

"It's a reflection of the whole madness that gripped us," Buckley said of what he calls his "billion-euro home."

"People were pouring billions into buildings now worth nothing," he said. "I wanted to create something from nothing."

A wave of cheap credit flowed into Ireland in the early 2000s after Ireland joined the currency zone fuelling a huge property bubble that transformed the country.

The bubble's collapse since 2007 plunged Ireland into the deepest recession in the industrialized world, forcing the former "Celtic Tiger" to accept a humiliating bailout from the EU and the IMF.

Buckley was given a 100 percent mortgage at the peak of the boom to buy a 365,000 euro home on the far reaches of Dublin's commuter belt, despite the fact he had no steady income.

He has separated from his wife who lives in the home, which has since lost at least one-third of its value.

Living in his "billion euro home" since the start of December, Buckley is working on adding a kitchen to the living room and hall.

The walls and floor are covered in euro shreddings and the house is so warm Buckley sleeps without a blanket.

Pictures made from notes and coins decorate the walls, including one of a house, made from Irish 5 pence pieces.

"There are houses in Ireland worth less than that," Buckley quips.

Buckley said he wants Europe's politicians to solve the eurozone debt crisis without destroying its currency. But if the currency ultimately fails, he will happily use the euro zone's defunct notes as fodder for future projects.

"Whatever you say about the euro, it's a great insulator."