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Ashley Cole already cheating on future girlfriend he hasn't met yet

Occasional footballer and full time dirtbag Ashley Cole has suffered another a blow in a week when hot but vacant wife Cheryl announced that she was officially dumping his arse.

Cashley, who was revealed by the tabloids to be shagging various women far less attractive than his pop star bird, has now been exposed as a love rat once again with the help of a clairvoyant.

Jenniii Scanque, a 21 year old exotic dancer from Essex, has spoken of her future love affair with Cole and his large salary, but said she had some reservations following a consultation with a psychic.

"She told me that Ashley and me would hook up innit," chirped Jenniii. "He'll come into the club, ask for a lap dance and then puke on my feet. Just your normal arrogant overpaid boy meets shallow materialistic girl story really."

"We'll get married but then I find out that he's been pooning some of those other bitches I work with along. The Bastard."

"I know she was for real cos she said that I had a relative who's name began with R, S, N, M or D and I do.

A spokesman for Ms. Scanque's solicitors said that she would be fighting for half of Cole's assets in any future divorce, though he admitted "We'll probably have to settle for a quarter after Cheryl's taken him to the cleaners."

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John Terry won't be facing trial for racial abuse until after Euro 2012. So he's free to lead his country into Poland. Just like his hero did.
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Irishman makes "billion-euro home" of shredded notes

(Reuters) - An unemployed Irish artist has built a home from the shredded remains of 1.4 billion euros ($1.82 billion), a monument to the "madness" he says has been wrought on Ireland by the single currency, from a spectacular construction boom to a wrenching bust.

Frank Buckley built the apartment in the lobby of a Dublin office building that has lain vacant since its completion four years ago at the peak of an ill-fated construction boom, using bricks of shredded euro notes he borrowed from Ireland's national mint.

"It's a reflection of the whole madness that gripped us," Buckley said of what he calls his "billion-euro home."

"People were pouring billions into buildings now worth nothing," he said. "I wanted to create something from nothing."

A wave of cheap credit flowed into Ireland in the early 2000s after Ireland joined the currency zone fuelling a huge property bubble that transformed the country.

The bubble's collapse since 2007 plunged Ireland into the deepest recession in the industrialized world, forcing the former "Celtic Tiger" to accept a humiliating bailout from the EU and the IMF.

Buckley was given a 100 percent mortgage at the peak of the boom to buy a 365,000 euro home on the far reaches of Dublin's commuter belt, despite the fact he had no steady income.

He has separated from his wife who lives in the home, which has since lost at least one-third of its value.

Living in his "billion euro home" since the start of December, Buckley is working on adding a kitchen to the living room and hall.

The walls and floor are covered in euro shreddings and the house is so warm Buckley sleeps without a blanket.

Pictures made from notes and coins decorate the walls, including one of a house, made from Irish 5 pence pieces.

"There are houses in Ireland worth less than that," Buckley quips.

Buckley said he wants Europe's politicians to solve the eurozone debt crisis without destroying its currency. But if the currency ultimately fails, he will happily use the euro zone's defunct notes as fodder for future projects.

"Whatever you say about the euro, it's a great insulator."